Today I could not take my eyes off the sunshine. I was amazed to walk outside and feel it beating down on my back. I was amazed to look up at the sky and see clearness and beauty. I was loving even the sight of the brown dead grass on the ground...all because it leads me to think about renewal.
I woke up today feeling so privileged to be filled with the joy of the Lord. It is not a privilege I can take lightly, for I have been entrusted with the joy of the Lord to share with others on my path. In recent days I have been considering the importance of the beaten path. It is not only our responsibility to care about the injustices that are dominant all around the world, but it is important for us to pour our efforts and passions into the beaten paths of our daily lives. We can speak renewal into others. Honestly, it is easier for me to care about and proclaim the injustices that reign afar. It is more difficult to see what is right in front of me, and to remember that God's purpose for me to be at this place at this time is greater than my perspective can give light to.
Today we began interviews for new SGA members. This was a reminder of renewal for me. It is a bit sad, because after two years of service, I will be moving on and hoping I can leave enough to positively impact those who are following. It is coming up on the end of a journey for me, but the exciting thing is I believe God will redirect and renew my passions for leadership and channel it in a new way- a way I have yet to see.
Spring is such a testament of renewal. From the brown grass that will soon flourish and turn it's beautiful shade of green, to becoming reacquainted with sunny days and those bright rays that seem to make everyone more joyful, to the sound of the birds that will be adorning our windows and the trees outside our apartment...so much renewal is coming to life.
I've never considered just how perfect the time of Lent and the Resurrection are. We are in a time of dying to ourselves, weeding out bad habits, and coming to terms with our need for the Lord. Just as the earth is still facing it's patterns of death, so are our souls. There is encouragement in that time, though, because we know the resurrection is soon to come! Just as Jesus rises from the grave after a tragic death, we too can be resurrected. We are able to overcome the death and focus on life-giving patterns in our lives. Through recent changes and uncertainties in my life, I have been evaluating my own patterns, what drives me, and where I focus my time. I often spend so much time worrying, that I forsake the gift of each day...I forget to be a blessing to others and breathe life into them because I am caught up in an attempt to control situations that I have no power over. I see this in my relationships, my job search, my classes... while I may have a long way to go, it is so exciting to know that God is revealing these death habits to me so that I may be free from them and free to live in the peace and joy of new life. I have no idea where that takes me in many situations, but as I have been meditating on, God promises to be our companion through each step. I want to take the steps He directs, because I want to live in harmony with Him.
I have been reading Henri Nouwen's Life of the Beloved. I can say that God's truths have become so near to me through this. When I think about my desire to live a life of service, this has meant a lot to me:
"I can give that gift only insofar as I have claimed it for myself"
So that's what I'm doing, that's what I'm focusing on- allowing myself to be the beloved. To be filled and completed through the love of a perfect Savior whose love has nothing to do with how well I love Him back.
My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God.
May you be the beloved- may you live in the renewal of the spirit that guides us and allows us to embark in life-giving patterns and a path to righteousness.
