Light for the next step is meaning a lot to me right now. It's requiring patience and faith from me. Here is the start of 2010, the year I graduate and must take the next step of faith in the course of my life. Granted there is plenty to enjoy before that-the last semester of college, the times with friends, adventures-but there is always lingering in my mind the question of where I will journey after this.

My dreams are endless or as Owl City puts it, "bursting at the seams." I believe that living a life in God's will means living extraordinary. Not necessarily in the sense of extravagant or even recognizable, but something outside of ourselves and outside of anything we could accomplish on our own. It is incredible to think I don't have to limit myself to my own abilities, but walking with God opens doors to things I can't even imagine. That is exciting, but it's also quite frightening. It's strange to think that my life's purpose could lie in something I have not even pondered before.

I am pursuing the next steps the best I can. I have went through an interview process for Teach For America. I have hopes of getting a job with TFA and having the opportunity to teach in a low-income setting. It just seems to encompass so many opportunities to empower others-to reach out to children who need encouragement, and to challenge myself to grow at the same time.

Empowering others is the only direction I feel very affirmed in so far. I feel a call to use everything I receive in life to encourage and empower others to excel. I feel called to be humble, to be a resource, and to show others the abilities they have within themselves and with the Lord. I just keep praying God will continue to pave my way and make it known to me. Though I sometimes pray for immediate direction, I know God doesn't work that way, and hey, it wouldn't be as exciting if He did. Therefore, I'm trying to embrace this time of uncertainty and all it has to offer for me.

In the latest MVNU NOW magazine, I was privileged with the opportunity to write about my time in Kenya. That, along with the many pictures I have received as gifts and the opportunities to continue sharing my story has put Kenya on my heart so much lately. I don't think a day goes by without my heart being drawn to it. I long to find what purpose that has in my life. I admire the African life in many ways, and I see many ways in which the poverty leaves room for a lot of work that still needs to be done. I believe God will keep this in my heart throughout my life-whether that means I will return there to work with building leadership within the villages, or whether that means I work to raise awareness or work hard to have the means to provide for an orphanage or something of the like....I don't know, but I am filled with ideas and dreams.

Reading through The Last Lecture this past week, I have felt enabled by my dreams. So often we write them off as distant and unobtainable, but I have allowed myself to challenge that idea. I have always dreamed of helping people, of living a life worth telling a story of and of experiencing the world. I'm not letting go of those dreams, but have learned that sometimes they are shaped in ways that do not fit the box I once made for them. That is our God- He is surprising and above our thoughts, and that is so admirable.

On New Years' Eve I spent hours until 6:30 am dialoguing with friends. There is much to be said about the wisdom and experiences we are able to share with one another. We worked through the idea of faith, the fact that we will never KNOW all the answers to the mystery of God, and the importance of evaluating just why we believe what we do. After all, if we are modeling our lives after something, we better be putting our intelligence and heart into that. It is refreshing to know that I have the ability to doubt, to step back and question things, and to come from that more and more amazed by my Savior. Truth is, I believe because I have seen glimpses of hope in the midst of despair. I know that humans are so flawed. I know that without a God, there is little hope. I know that there IS hope and I can be apart of that only because I have the love and strength of a Father who has enabled me. This hope is why I believe I can pursue my dreams, I can dream big, and I can know that God has instilled these dreams in me so that I can work towards serving Him in the gifts and abilities He has given me. I am determining to not put my dreams in a box, but to work hard and see the hand of God and the hope he provides in ways that I would never expect.